My daughter is now three and a half months old and is currently rocked to sleep on nearly every occasion.
Having spoken to other mums and reading books such as Gina Ford Contented Baby I have come to realise this approach may cause me problems in the future. Unfortunately my daughter doesn't like to sleep. She will have a good moan about it - even in the pram when I am out and about (passers by saying 'arhhh, she's hungry' which really annoys me cos she isn't!). If I try to put her in her cot when she is dozy or not completely asleep she will normally cry until I pick her up again then she falls asleep. She has slept through the night from 6 weeks so I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Until now...
She is starting to wake in the night and is not settling herself back to sleep. She may be hungry which seems to be the case but it has highlighted the problem of me only being able to get her to sleep by rocking.
Health visitors and Gina recommend putting your baby down in their cot when their eyes are flicking and they are dozy. Then if they cry (and you are sure they aren't crying for food, winding or nappy) then allow them to until they fall asleep (but not letting them cry for more than 5-10 mins). I never liked the idea of that but now it is becoming apparent that a) my back can't take the rocking anymore and b) she needs to learn to settle herself (especially if she wakes in the night and it isn't for food).
So what is right? I think it is all a question of choices. I love rocking my baby to sleep but I can't do it forever! I may have to limit the amount of time I rock her now... as hard as it is for me and her!
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5 comments:
I never let my son cry himself to sleep. I just didn't want him to dread bed time every night. I did the same thing you did for a while. The rocking to bed. But once he hit a year and a half or so (I waited a while) I finally would lay him in his bed read to him and tell him he is safe. Turn out the light and when he cried I came to him. I didn't get him out of bed, but I wanted him to know that I was there when he needed me.
Thank you 'baby advice'. Luckily I have made progress on the rocking front. I can now put my baby down in her cot in the evening without her crying. I think one of the main issues was her being overtired. So if I can time it right bedtimes are SO much easier now.
Leaving a baby to cry himself to sleep maybe is not the best decision. I think if you get him to sleep in your arms and then put him in the cot, you won't have problems.
being a new parent to a 20 month old, I had this dilemma which wasn't helped by my partners need to read Gina Fords books which I myself find hard to stomach considering the women is not a parent. I feel that there is nothing wrong with rocking or cuddling your baby to sleep; we attempted controlled crying and our daughter became petrified of going to bed and this was after only 3 attempts. We decided to revert back to our previous method of cuddling, putting her in her cot and staying with her until she went off. Now at 20 months our daughter has started taking herself off to sleep without us in the room. I feel that by cuddling her we gave her confidence and security which even as adults we need to be able to sleep; many a time I have been on holiday and for the first few days not been able to sleep due to being somewhere that has not made me feel comfortable and relaxed enough to sleep.
This subject has caused endless rows between my partner and I and I feel that there needs to be a more open minded approach from childcare professionals.
At the end of the day how many adults do you know who aren't able to take themselves off to sleep without one of there parents cuddling them? not many I would imagine.
very nice writing...keep it up
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